I quit my job on Monday 3/18/13. It felt wonderful. I was with that company going on seven years. Just over three of them were spent working from home. I’d say it’s better that I didn’t quit while working at the office, because there’s a chance I may have cursed out one particular person who needs to be cursed out. I won’t say her name, but my coworkers who work from home know who I’m talking about. But since I did it from home, there was nothing more than an email. Two sentences long. Oh, and there was a two page letter, that I requested to be passed on ot the powers-that-be, about their practices and the way they are affecting their clients, but I’m sure no one will see it.
Regardless of the lack of fanfare it still felt fucking awesome! My future is unsure. I’m fine with that. I say that as if I don’t have a job waiting for me. I do, and I’m so excited about it. It’s a great opportunity that’s allowing me to move back to my beloved New York. I need to email my new boss and thank him again.
Out of respect for the friends I’ve made here—the few friends—I don’t want to say anything bad about where I live now. I don’t want to disrespect their city. I’ll just say this place and I are not a good fit for each other, and I’m absolutely thrilled to leave. I know New York is different from when I left. I haven’t been back for two years. There’s a chance I may not like it. That’s a chance I’ll have to take.
Since September of last year I’ve had it in my head that I was going to be in NY by April. I said it over and over again. Not intentionally. It was what I was feeling and I’d have conversations about it. I didn’t feel at any point as though it wouldn’t happen. I said I was moving even if I didn’t have a job or a home. I was leaving. I had no doubt in my mind. I didn’t know when in April. I kind of have April 1st in my head, but I was fine with any time in the month.
I started looking for jobs and places to live. I couldn’t find either. But I wasn’t deterred. I’d been applying to jobs in NY since September, here and there. But then over the past two months I was sending out ten resumes a day. It paid off. I got my new job Friday, quit my job Monday, and I’m starting my new job next week. Three days before April 1st. I knew I’d be there!
I have no answers about life. Just a few things that I’ve learned. There’s been one of other time when I had a time-based goal. It was when I worked for a cell phone company. I absolutely hated that job. Another situation where a merger between companies made my work life shitty. I wrote, 6/19/2006, on a blank sheet of paper and tacked it to my desk. Everyone walking by could see it. I said to myself, I’m not working here past this date. And I didn’t. I found a job and was able to quit a month before that date. So, based on my little bit of experience, I truly believe Bob Proctor’s quote “Thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand.” I use that quote a LOT! That goes for good and bad things. One negative thought leads to another negative thought. One positive thought leads to another positive thought. If you move in a positive fashion toward your goal without doubt, you’ll be able to conquer the obstacles before you because you won’t let them get in the way of your goal.
Another favorite quote is for when I dare to not believe in myself; Thomas Edison, “If we did all the things we were capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” I also think of the poems, “Still I Rise,” by Maya Angelou and, “Invictus,” by William Ernest Henley. Belief in ourselves is paramount. Belief in our individual power. Belief that as long as there is breath there is opportunity.
And when I start getting scared about taking chances, and being afraid to fail, I think about Helen Keller’s quote; “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
So, here I go! I’m leaping into my future. I’m full of nervous, anxious energy. But I believe in myself. Somehow, something will always come through. I believe in myself, and the ultimate goodness of others. And I know that I’m going to be able to write my way into my dreams. So let it be written, so let it be done.