Life is harsh. People are mean, and sometimes it seems like everyone’s aim is to break you down. Don’t lie to yourself about feeling bad. Acknowledge it, so you can change your situation. All the things you need to be happy are on this earth. You may need to journey to find them, but ultimately, it’s all inside of you already. We live in a puritanical society that teaches us, directly and indirectly that feeling good is a sin. So many of us wallow in negativity because we think that type of sacrifice is what the Creator (by whatever name you call him her or it) wants. I don’t know much about life, but the idea of helping each other seems to be the steadiest theme of life throughout the timeline of humanity. We can’t get anywhere without each other. It’s kind of hard to help others if you are trapped in a negative mental state.
1. Start laughing
Don’t wait for a joke, or something funny. Just start laughing. Smile, then laugh. Laughing feeds on itself, just like crying. The more you do it, the more you will do it until you are in a fit of it. If you feel too silly doing laughing at nothing, or if you are just not in touch with yourself like that, then watch something on Youtube.
Don’t underestimate the power of an orgasm. Sometimes getting one out will change your whole mindset. It relieves tension, which gives you a better perspective on things. Now, please, only do this if you are in the proper setting. Don’t be like the woman in my novel Confessions of a Serial Masturbator, who did it on the train, at work and some other places. Please be sure to spare the public of your self-pleasure adventures :).
3. Take selfies
I remember I was feeling super shitty one day, and I started taking pics of myself, because I wanted to see my saddness. I hated the way my face looked! It was depressing. After a few pics I started trying to make cuter faces, so I’d have better pics. Then I started making funny faces. Soon I was feeling so much better. I’d cheered myself up by mistake. It’s a very helpful tool for me. You can also just look in a mirror and do the same thing. Only difference is it won’t be recorded. All things don’t need to be.
4. Draw or write something
Whether you think you can draw or not. Doesn’t matter if you write well, or not. We are made to create, so creating something, anything, will make you feel better. It doesn’t have to be good, or big, or shared with anyone else. Just put pen, or pencil to paper, or pull out your phone or tablet or laptop and get to creating.
Obvi right? But It’s not always in the forefront of your mind to do it. It’s one of the fastest ways to recharge your mind. Not just any music, but music that makes you feel good. That makes your body move and forces you to sing along. Some of my go to songs are:
Sucka MC’s – Run DMC
The Don – Nas
Fly Away – Lenny Kravitz
Cult of Personality – Living Colour
Feeling Good – Nina Simone
Sweet Escape – Gwen Stefani
Crush On You Remix – Lil Kim
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) – Sylvester
1 Thing – Amerie
Party Up – DMX
Nikka Costa – Like a Feather
That’s just a small cross section of the songs that immediately put a smile on my face, and make me sing and dance. The full list is far too long and ever-growing for me to even attempt to list all of them.
6. Get one or a few go-to quotes
Usually, whenever I’m feeling down, it has something to do with me not living up to my potential in some form. Feeling like a failure. When I’m in that mental space, it can normally be traced back to me being afraid. My fears stop me from doing the things I really want to do. Fear of not having money to buy food, or to pay rent. Fear of both failure and success. Fear of change. This quote is one of my favorite to help put life into perspective:
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”
I’ve posted this quote before. Whenever I get scared, or doubt myself, it’s one of my immediate thoughts. I have a few of them. At this moment, this is my favorite. I alternate as my needs change. Yes, your mother’s quotes count!
I hope this is helpful to someone out there. By no means is a quick fix. These are just some ways that have proven helpful to me when I get into a funk. They lift my mood so I can proceed with life. To paraphrase Nas, we’re all in the grind. That being the case, we all need to pick each other up when we can. It’s hard out here for most of us. But there is always opportunity to change. Sometimes it takes baby steps, sometimes you’ve got to leap. Life is a constant challenge. There is always someone less fortunate, more fortunate or on your level. We all need help and we all need to help each other. We are created that way.
What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear from you.
Thank you for reading!